When you are working toward your goals to become your highest self, you often need to advocate for yourself to move forward.
In previous articles, I’ve noted how many people find that some people around them, including close friends and family, may try to sabotage their efforts to lose weight or reach another goal. Some of us also have issues with medical professionals who don’t seem to take us seriously or may not be proficient with the specific issues we have. Too often, a person gets frustrated and accepts a less-than-ideal situation or stops trying to reach their goals because they lack support or don’t want to challenge a relationship with a friend, family member, or another person key to their progress.
In most cases, you can successfully advocate for yourself to move forward toward your goals without upsetting yourself or the other party.
Watch this week’s episode to learn more about how to advocate for yourself:
How to Advocate for Yourself
- Have a clear understanding of who you are. Self-awareness will make it easier to communicate your requests to others, help you determine a clear path to your objectives, and build confidence.
- What you want and need to be fulfilled.
- Your core values.
- Specific goals based on these factors.
- Develop strong confidence and self-belief. Select techniques to lessen negative self-talk and build habits and a positive mindset.
- Set a time each day to write, visualize, or otherwise reflect on affirmations, what you are grateful for, your strengths, and how you will work toward your goals this day.
- Develop a circle of family, friends, and colleagues who appreciate you and build confidence. Mindfulness practices and building confidence will help reduce the impact of negative influences.
- Eliminate contact with people, media, and other elements that lessen your confidence.
- Identify the organization or people you are dealing with to understand best what is required from you to achieve the specific goal or goals relevant to what you are advocating for:
- Wants and needs.
- Core values.
- Goals.
- Policies and other requirements – and your rights and entitlements.
- Communication style.
- Hierarchy of the organization – who will be able to assist you, who needs to sign off on requests, who can provide you with the information you need to know?
- Relevant Time Frames: Some organizations only hire or give pay increases at certain times of the year, etc.
- Gather Resources & Supporters
- Information
- Documentation
- People who can provide information, guidance
- People who can be referrals or testimonials
- Plan your pitch.
- What are you going to say?
- How are you going to say it?
- Who are you going to say it to?
- When are you going to say it?
- Prepare
- Practice with a friend, therapist, or coach.
- How do you want to present yourself? What should you wear, etc., to make the best impression and feel comfortable and confident?
- Ensure you have time so you aren’t rushed, stressed, or late.
- Have all information and documentation ready.
- Other tips
- Be assertive but not pushy.
- Be fair
- Can you over ask?
- Be patient, within reason. Maybe it isn’t your time. If that’s the case, ask what is needed to be prepared for the future.
- What’s your Plan B? Move on, or find another method to move forward.
- Follow-up, to ensure that what’s agreed takes place or if you need to provide more information or documentation.
When To Advocate For Yourself
- At work – applying for a job, requesting a raise, move a project forward, or to solve an issue.
- With family and friends – dealing with difficult issues, organizing an event, etc.
- Any negotiations – buying a car, getting a car fixed, dealing with tradespeople.
- Getting a position of leadership in a volunteer organization.
Advocating for Yourself in Intimate Relationships
![Dr. Rose Schlaff, Sex Counsellor and Pelvic Therapist](https://anndonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/dr-rose-schlaff-200x300.jpg)
During the Writing for Release Retreat I attended a couple of weekends ago, one of the speakers was Dr. Rose Schlaff, sex counselor and pelvic therapist. Dr. Schlaff discussed how many women are dissatisfied with their sexual relationships because they don’t know or ask for what they want and need. Better communication about your sex life will lead to better communication and satisfaction with your relationship overall. She suggested the following:
- Determine what you want and need without feeling judged or less because it may differ from others.
- Spend time with your partner to discuss what each other wants and needs. Ensure that you both have time and are in the right mindset, not when you are about to get intimate.
- Use a system of green, yellow, and red lights to understand each person’s wants and needs. Green for things you are up for at any time. Red for things you never want to do. Yellow for things that you want under certain conditions. You may be interested in trying different things at certain times, or if you have more time, when you are on vacation, not right after work, etc.
- Make these discussions more common. As your wants and needs change, have additional conversations. The more you talk about sex, the easier it will be.
The more often you advocate for yourself, the easier it will be for you to reach your highest goals and self-fulfillment in all areas of your life.
This autumn, I am launching Raising Your Voice, a platform for women to improve their communication skills. and how to advocate for themselves will be a big part of this. Work with like-minded women in a safe supportive community to better communicate and advocate to reach your goals and get what you want out of your life. Click here to join the waitlist.
Take action!
🌸 Determine one area of your life where you need to advocate for yourself. Do you want to tackle something big and significant, or would you rather start with something smaller to build your advocating skills?
🌸 Let me know if you are joining me on this journey, what you discovered during this episode, and how I can support you better through Zoom calls, a Facebook Group, a book club, etc. Email me at admin@anndonnelly.com!
🌸 Click here to join the Raising Your Voice Waitlist!!!
Resources
🌸 Read about The One Thing method of productivity, goal setting, and how to determine your Core Values: Find Purpose and Productivity with Your Core Values.