Why It’s Important and How to Get Started!
In most of the previous episodes, I’ve noted that it’s important to start any personal journey, new initiative, or collaboration (including a new relationship), prepping for a difficult conversation, etc., by getting very clear on what you want and need from the situation—and your life overall! In this episode, I go a bit deeper into how to get clarity on what you want and need and why and when it is important.
Why it is important to get clarity.
- You can better advocate for yourself, communicate to others to get what you want/need and get their assistance, rather than resistance, on your journey.
- Clarity will make you feel more confident about what you want/need and allow you to see the path to get there more clearly!
What it’s like without clarity?
I give you my own story. For most of my life, I didn’t have clarity on what I wanted. In many cases, I didn’t feel I had a choice. I moved toward what I thought I should do or had to do to survive, get out of Gloversville, etc. What happens when you don’t have clarity:
- You have to work harder and often move backward instead of forward or try things you don’t really want or aren’t aligned with your Core Values.
- You can’t clearly communicate to others what you want/need, so you often get pulled into situations that don’t serve you, help you move toward what is best for you, or may even be bad for you.
- Unhappiness, perhaps even real depression and mental health issues.
After leaving Ireland and being fully dependent on myself, luckily, I learned the importance of getting clarity on what I want/need and started working towards that and have seen the results in my career, family, social life, etc. I never look back and regret. Everything happens for a reason. You learn from mistakes or other things that happen. I needed to do something else to do what I was doing today.
What may keep you from getting clarity.
- Time – you are busy with family obligations, work, other demands.
- Feeling that you need to put others first.
- Afraid to know what you want because you think you cannot get it or because the unknown of what could be is scary.
- Other people want to keep you the same.
I get emotional in the video when I speak about women who do not let themselves think about what they want or need, women who have given up hope. To me, this is the saddest you can be. My mother was often in that state and it has made me see that is not the way to live. You must have hope, and I will do what I can to help women out of that situation.
How to get clarity on what you want or need.
- Identify your highest priority Core Values. I’ve discussed this many times before. (See resources below.) Knowing what is important to you will help you better understand what you want and need and ensure that it is aligned with your core being.
- Make and take the time to think and dream.
- Dream BIG! Let your thoughts go as far and wide as possible.
- Warning, shameless self-promotion! Join the Raising Your Voice Waitlist to get notifications about my upcoming webinar during which we will work together on this!
Situations when you need this clarity.
- This is very important when making big decisions for your life, e.g., what to do after high school or college, a change in career, looking for a promotion, starting a business or other big project, getting married or divorced, when to have children, etc.
- It is also important when making smaller decisions because all of these add up to have an impact on your life, e.g., joining a pickleball league, dying your hair pink, where to go on vacation, etc.
- Preparing to advocate for yourself or to have a difficult conversation, e.g., telling your husband how you feel about his gift of your favorite cake when you are trying to avoid sugar and calories or that you want a divorce!
- Deciding your goals and planning for your future, even if you are doing this with a partner or other family member.
- It is important to know what you want in relationships with people, from your partner, children, and other family members to your boss and co-workers, to friends, and even casual relationships with others you see regularly — your mechanic, mailman, etc. This includes intimate relationships! Again, I avoided the “S-word” in the video unintentionally, this time! You need to know what you want “in bed” to get what you want — and you deserve to get what you want. You must get what you want to ensure long-term happiness for you both in the relationship.
Are you feeling unhappy, unsatisfied, or even more seriously depressed or in danger? In that case, it is critical to do this work to build confidence and take action to improve your situation.
I will be holding a free webinar in August, How to Get Clarity on What You Want, to start the lead-up to the launch of Raising Your Voice, a platform for women to come together and learn how to develop and use the communication skills needed to realize your dreams and goals. Raising Your Voice is going to fully launch in October 2024, but starting with this webinar, we will do a little work over the summer to prepare to join together in a safe, supportive community of like-minded women to work toward finding fulfillment.
Take Action!
🌸 Pick one situation (perhaps one of those noted above) where you need to get more clarity to get what you want or need. Look at your top core values and see if that will help bring clarity. Then, journal for 5 minutes or until you fill a page about what you really want or need in this situation.
🌸 Let me know if you are joining me on this journey, what you discovered during this episode, and how I can support you better through Zoom calls, a Facebook Group, a book club, etc. Email me at admin@anndonnelly.com!
🌸 Click here to join the Raising Your Voice Waitlist.
Resources
🌸 Read about The One Thing method of productivity, goal setting, and how to determine your Core Values: Find Purpose and Productivity with Your Core Values.